A friend of mine posted something on Facebook about feeling awkward during her clinical rotation this quarter - her very first one, doing gynecological care. My gut reaction was to reassure her and offer stories about my first clinical in order to help her see that this is a growth process, much like adolescence all over again. Here's what I wrote:
I saw your post on FB, and thought I’d just offer my experience. Remember I was NEVER a nurse, so always felt very behind in clinical. Last year, my best friend in midwifery school got to see patients on her own the first or second week. I did not. At first I felt very sad/behind/stupid/insecure/etc about it, but then realized that going slow has its advantages. First, I got to see an amazing NP in action! Second, I got to learn slowly. I think the best thing I learned, and told patients sometimes (when appropriate) is that having a student actually is advantageous for them – they get two brains instead of one, and often twice as much attention! Anyway, slowly I’ve become more and more confident during the last year. I’m now really comfortable seeing patients – at least in terms of rapport – for a variety of reasons. It’s the clinical judgement piece that takes a really long time. Some subjects I’m really comfortable with (birth control, normal prenatal visits, etc) but some I’m at a loss – mostly due to lack of experience. It’s a slow process, where you move back and forth in feeling great or feeling stupid. For at least my first three quarters of clinical I pretty much felt like an idiot most of the time. Finally, that’s not so true anymore!
So there’s the pep talk that my friend didn’t really ask for. Maybe I just needed to do some reflecting on my own growth as a midwife, so I thank her for that.
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